Hello, dear readers. There are so many filthy, lousy, disgusting activities in the world. Like stamp fraud for example. I read an article on it the other week in the ‘Metro’. It caught my eye under the screaming headline, ‘9 arrested in alleged stamp fraud.’ How could I not read on? Well I did read [...]
I’m a daydreamer, always have been. It’s not a dirty habit. Smoking is a dirty habit. Especially smoking while reading a naughty mag and sitting in a hole in the ground. That’s a very dirty habit. My mind just tends to wander. The problem is I’m an intellectual you see. I have a lot of [...]
¶ Gravitas
Durbie recently told me I lacked weight. I was offended by this statement and suggested he offered up some of his own as he clearly had plenty to spare. He clarified his remark by saying I lacked weight or depth, more correctly, as a writer. At first I was hurt (he was hurt second) but [...]
I was at a soiree the other night. It was a benefit in aid of the Toronto Dyslexic Society. It should have been a huge fundraiser for a very good cause but unfortunately the directions to the venue we got were full of very basic errors and was rather poorly put together so few people [...]
I was reading an article the other week about yoga. This was not unusual for me. I remember last May I read three articles about egg fondue parties. In one day! That was quite a day. It was the big craze back then – fine wine, music, bread and egg yolk dipping make for a [...]
I have an idea for a play. It came to me while I was stuffing a turkey for the annual Prostate Society’s Banquet Dinner. It’s a whodunnit. I will give you the outline of it to test your wits and see if you are capable of unraveling the layers (like an onion) of this incredible [...]
Betty, my wife, doesn’t go out at night anymore. Neither do I. Neither does the dog. Not now. Not since we saw ‘it’. Heaven help us. Betty can’t even talk about it, can you? No, she can’t even answer my question. Doctor says she’s in shock, suffering from the ‘brain craps’ as he calls it. [...]
I am angry – very angry. I am, what is known as, a ‘diametrically challenged’ man. In layman’s terms, I’m generously built. Now, just yesterday, as I eased down into my nearly-new, molded, leather effect couch, I was reminded of that famous saying by, I think it was Karl Marx, maybe Richard Marx, ‘Fat people [...]
I thought it strange – No breath of wind, No motion in The birch or oak, No birdsong here, No squirrel scrapes Or scrambles, makes A rustle in The leaves- Unsettling. A splint of light Had picked him out, Had traced him through The heavy canopy, And then a figure Formed- Hanging. The birch, in [...]
Perhaps you’ve heard of Mr Grimblee, A stately and grandiose man, Of generous build and a rather big beard, And a book always tight in his hand. Perhaps you’ve seen him walk about, In a slow and measured pace, And with his head up high, for passers-by, Shows a strange, expressionless face. Perhaps you [...]