When Durbie comes for dinner Hello dear readers. I wonder if I might take up a few moments of your time to talk about Durbie – a loafer, parasite, vagabond and miscreant and probably my greatest friend. How to describe him? Have you ever met a moody beaver, King Street West and Spadina? Oh [...]
In Conversation – With a Poet We go this week to a leafy, tranquil hamlet in the Cotswolds. The hamlet has the rather poetic name of Titchyneesthorpe. Where better to meet with the legendary poet, sculptor, bee-keeper and chin-reader – Arthur Loopy? Now an elderly man in his late seventies he was once much [...]
In Conversation – With a Folk Band The Interviewer meets the band ‘Casterbridge Boys’ rehearsing in the upstairs of a pub. They are a group of Westcountry old boys. Arrr! Jack Stop! Stop! Stop! Fred, don’t forget to hit that big E chord with the doodah below when I sing ‘with lovely withers’ [...]
In Conversation- With a Gardener Interviewer Today’s meeting of ‘In Conversation’ is with one of the recent bloomers of the gardening fraternity. A man celebrated for his TV series and recent book, both entitled ‘Dirty Fingers.’ Using my questions as a metaphorical trowel, I will attempt to dig through the surface, to get down [...]
Hello, dear readers. There are so many filthy, lousy, disgusting activities in the world. Like stamp fraud for example. I read an article on it the other week in the ‘Metro’. It caught my eye under the screaming headline, ‘9 arrested in alleged stamp fraud.’ How could I not read on? Well I did read [...]
I’m a daydreamer, always have been. It’s not a dirty habit. Smoking is a dirty habit. Especially smoking while reading a naughty mag and sitting in a hole in the ground. That’s a very dirty habit. My mind just tends to wander. The problem is I’m an intellectual you see. I have a lot of [...]
¶ Gravitas
Durbie recently told me I lacked weight. I was offended by this statement and suggested he offered up some of his own as he clearly had plenty to spare. He clarified his remark by saying I lacked weight or depth, more correctly, as a writer. At first I was hurt (he was hurt second) but [...]
I was at a soiree the other night. It was a benefit in aid of the Toronto Dyslexic Society. It should have been a huge fundraiser for a very good cause but unfortunately the directions to the venue we got were full of very basic errors and was rather poorly put together so few people [...]
I was reading an article the other week about yoga. This was not unusual for me. I remember last May I read three articles about egg fondue parties. In one day! That was quite a day. It was the big craze back then – fine wine, music, bread and egg yolk dipping make for a [...]
I have an idea for a play. It came to me while I was stuffing a turkey for the annual Prostate Society’s Banquet Dinner. It’s a whodunnit. I will give you the outline of it to test your wits and see if you are capable of unraveling the layers (like an onion) of this incredible [...]